… almost gone tomorrow.
After a recent haircut (cost one cup of tea and an instruction to sweep the kitchen floor of gray hair), I couldn’t help but notice the increasingly thin strip of occasional folicles bridging the span between forehead and crown. Things don’t really improve downwind of that either, with the classic “monks cut” marking itself out between what’s left and that’s heading south.
There’s a race between the hair receeding upwards and the crown expanding outwards. When they meet in the middle, I’ll be left with little option but a combover, a hat or – and I’m giving this some ironic thought – a ponytail. On the upside, I’m properly hirsute in the short, back and sides department and my ear hair is going ballistic.
I did consider re-growing the beard which was a folically irresistible pheromone of gray and ginger. This stubbly fusion of light and dark was once memorably described as “a squirrel attempting to escape through a badger“. Now that’s a look any man in sight of his fortieth birthday should be actively considering.
It is odd tho, along with the aforementioned hairy lobes, whatever I’m losing on the top is taking refuge in my ears and on my back. Maybe I could back comb that and create some kind of sixties quiff. No? You’re probably right.
Still helmet air shall soon be a thing of the past as will shampoo, bad hair days and ever paying for a haircut again. I shall invest instead in factor 30 suncream and a selection of headgear. I always quite fancied a trilby.
Sometimes though, I feel it is only I who understands how to look fashionable. Ponytail, dodgy beard, backcombed body hair and trilby. You may be laughing now but you just wait. It’s the next big trend.