It’s all gone dark – Part i.

The daily seat scrum, which passes for appropriate middle class train entry behaviour, spat me out next to a rather chubby bloke in a sharp suit. Nothing wrong with that, but an impartial analysis of the surprising juxtaposition of weak autumnal seven AM light and pitch black Oakley’s would decree a considered final satorial judgement of pretentious wanker”.

Still he was reading MacWorld or rather not reading in on account of his peril sensitive eyeware, which goes some way to explaining his peculiar behaviour. Accessorising eyeballs may be an old sell for the eighties red-braced marketeers but someone really should have a word.

Trinny and Sussanah, step away from those middle aged cacophonies of too much food and too little self esteem and perform some useful public works. Whip off your shades and shout it out Wearing Sunglasses Indoors in Fucking Moronic. Now stop it or it’ll be me decking you out in flares, wide lapels and chest wigs

Still what do I know about cool. While the preening cats were aping their New Romantic heroes and messing about with eyeliner, I was hunched over a teletype terminal acoustically coupled to the University computer.

All my friends had NHS glasses, centre partings and pen protectors. We’d been told the Geeks Would Inherit The Earth and by God, we believed it. That was the great trick with the eighties, if Martin Fry could get away with Gold Suits and the Human League with those haircuts, attainability became the new aspiration. To paraphrase Gordon Gecko Geek is Good” “ accepted we didn’t get many girls (ok then, none) and the word wasn’t ready for Socks AND sandals but you know we’re we just a little misunderstood. No, honestly.

Not a great deal has changed but even in the pits of deepest denial could I ever dream that Waiting for a Star to Fall�? by Five Star would ever warrant the default entry on my mobile phone. Not even in a post modern ironic kind of way. An entire branch of mathematics would have to be created with that deal with that level of wrongness.

And yet Sunglasses man let it belt out the first two stanzas before flicking his tasteless jukebox open with a pudgy wrist. Maybe the shades were an inspired choice, as this is the kind of free carriage theatre that receives critical acclaim on the 6:48. For the sake of his therapy bills, I hope he thought we were laughing WITH him.

7 thoughts on “It’s all gone dark – Part i.

  1. Alex

    It did. I thought about allowing a preview mode but I though that’d just encourage you 😉

    Proper beer drinking there, little finger extended, sunglasses on (OUTSIDE) and a cheeky little Dan on the inside.

    Looks totally right to me.

    BTW have you bothered to get a job yet or are you just worrying all those innocent Malvern sheep 🙂

  2. The sheep arent worried. How can ewe be worried when you’re sedated?

    Check out my site. I’ve started prostituting myself. Someone even paid me last week. Looking up.

  3. Alex

    “Freelance Real Estate Analyst” – Hello Pot, Kettle Calling 🙂 Best of luck with it and remember a sheep is for life not just for Xmas…

  4. Oi kettle.
    A calculator and theodolite beat 4 biros (red, green, blue and black natch) and a soldering iron anyday.

    Fancy a game of “hourly charge out rate poker”?

    Nah, didnt think so, Mr “minimum wage” Leigh

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