Cows Stop Play

That’s the kind of nonsense you would expect at Cardiff for the first Ashes test. In fact, I might send this lot down to put the wind up the Aussies. They’ve certainly had that effect on me. It is quite difficult to navigate your way to the car when about 8 cows are giving you ten tons of moo-attitude at 7:30am in the morning.

We know now where they came from. We don’t know when they’re going. As of right now, they appear to be enjoying an early breakfast of my wing mirrors. The dog – brave, stout fellow that he is – has gone into hiding under a chair, and every time Carol or I move they stampede in the direction of something expensive.

I fear for the fence.

And the windows. Short of borrowing a shotgun and setting up an impromptu burger bar, I’m short of ideas. They’ve sorrounded my workshop here and every time I look up from the keyboard, mad cow eyes look back at me.

I can feel a difficult sitution developing here.

UPDATE: We tried the local farmers who denied they’d lost any cows, and anyway it’d be quicker to claim them back from the EEC farm subsidy. We even called the police which was amusing “Are any of the cows comitting an offence Sir?” / “Breach of the Peace? They’re pissing all over the place and I’d like aggrevated looming to be taken into account”. Sadly it seems these are not sufficient grounds for ungulate arrest.

5 thoughts on “Cows Stop Play

  1. Andy

    Wimp! What’s your beef? (sorry)

    You’re lucky the local law didn’t start down the line of asking “are these your cows sir? No? Can we talk about a rustling charge sir”.

    I’m convinced you’re just milking this event for sympathy. Time to MOOve on…..


  2. DaveB

    Udder tosh this post, the sort of bull Jeremy “Bo” Vine would write on a fresian cold day in Jersey.

  3. Alex

    No need to have a cow about it Dave. I’ve made my moo-d clear on this one. As for the udder animals our mad chickens having pecked out the sign of a cloven hoof.

    It’s animal farm out there.

  4. Dave

    talking of animal farm, some pigs haven’t come by yet? Seen any fly by?

    anyway.. is it time to call moontain rescue for an airlift out of there?

  5. Julian

    It’s certainly one for your dairy entry. A few more in your garden and you’d be able to fillet. Your dog would be more active if you stopped throwing so many briskets.

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