Bought!

Hummer, originally uploaded by Alex Leigh.

On the nicest day of the year, I decided to abandon the family’s plea for some outdoor action, instead closeting myself in the barn to build this Titanium lovely. Ti is a frame material which has received much mullage from the experts-in-their-own head found on Internet forums. Apparently it is the silver bullet, the cookie-cutter, the pinnacle of the periodic table. That’s bollox obviously but didn’t stop me lusting after one for many years.

And years ago, I did have one but discarded it as a smelly kipper once it became apparent that exotic frame materials do not beget awesome trail skills. I know better of course now because this one was far more expensive – even second hand – so must be pretty damn begetting in dishing out those elusive inflamed wedding veg.

My friend Mike – who understands such things – tells me frame materials are largely irrelevant to how a bike rides. There is no inherent springiness of steel, stiffness of Alu or mythic ride quality associated with Titanium. And, of course he’s right but the PA and Wanga have gone, while this has taken their place. It’s already way better than the Voodoo because it has lots of gears. Which after some angst and shouting, I was able to wrest from their recalcitrant starting positions.

Mike also tells me this bike will last me for ever. Which – based on my bike rental approach – is interesting, if not entirely relevant. But tomorrow, on the anniversary of shoulder-gate, it’ll get clothed in the Emperor ‘s new mud. Of more interest to Carol is my direct return to the house without a diversion to Accident and Emergency.

Worshiping at the altar of Mong would have Consequences what with two weeks of camper van driving a mere week away. But I’m not sure I can ride any more slowly. Anyway a quick cheeky footpath test showed the bike to be both stiff and frisky.

So I’m thinking of calling it the “Penis“. Like rider, like bike eh?

7 thoughts on “Bought!

  1. Andy

    Right alex, intervention required. The Wanga ownership lasted eight weeks and I found that out because your “look at my wanga” post is in easy blog scrolling reach.

    However, I think we can salvage something from this if we can give your bike ownership a higher purpose. I’ve found a list of bike brands and there’s 64 of them. I reckon if you can work your way through the entire list then there’s a saleable book in it.

    Sadly there may be an obstacle as, in a triple AAA taxi look at me stylee, the brand at the top of the list is… well can you guess?

  2. MikeD

    Al’s bike ownership is already serving a higher purpose – he’s singlehandedly propping up the global bike industry ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Tim

    Finally, Al buys a nice bike ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Try keeping this one for more than five minutes…

    Looks lov-er-ly btw ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Alex

    That’d be an Apollo would it Andy ๐Ÿ˜‰ There’s a bike I could do justice too. It’s not the length or rental of the Wanga that vexes me so, it’s the fact it had only one ride. THE RIDE FROM HELL. (Assuming hell is muddy and horrible). Forยฃ50, I’m sure there are more pleasurable experiences.

    The hummer is great tho. Slight issues around the is-it or isn’t-it urban myth Chansuck. But I’m considering an innovative solution using nothing more than an inner tube and a credit card. It was making me do all sorts of things not really appropriate for a man about to go on Holiday. Ahem. Really looking forward to riding it some more on twisty singletrack.
    I know you shall all mock but I feel a certain karmic balance in the barn. It seems the bike industry may have to do without me for a while. But already the slack has been taken by Nigel “9 Bikes/3 People” Parker.

    It’s a sad day ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Andy

    No it’s not an Apollo. It would have been Airbourne but they went bust so it’s, and I’m really sorry about this…

    “Alex Moulton Folding Bicycle Company”

  6. Pingback: I want my life back » Blog Archive » Dates

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.