Chicks digs scars.

I’m sorry to disappoint all you cultivating bloodied puncture wounds, but this statement is a a bit of a porker. Oozing with unpleasant substances, bad for your health and about as sexually attractive as venereal disease. So here’s the truth – chain rings dig scars as graphically demonstrated by the grizzly tattoo on my calf. In fact, the whole leg appears to have gone ten rounds with a lunatic armed with an industrial staple gun.

This was one of the only two downsides of a weekend ride under sunny skies on mostly dry trails. Obviously now we’re off to summer at the other side of the world, I care not if it buckets with hail and snow for the next three weeks. On thinking such pernicious thoughts, a brief glance at the Internet proxied weather tea leaves informed of pissing rain in New Zealand. This is either a meteorological blip during their otherwise fantastic summer, or the start of the monsoon season.

The second downside was more a downsize. Of a chain which mistook an innocent shift to the granny ring to instead somehow escape the front mech ,and wedge itself firmly betwixt crankset and chainstay. After some scratching of heads, dismantlement of the majority of the bike and some keen action on the chain tool, my 27 geared steed was reduced to a somewhat more humble 5.

I’m blaming a combination of Gimp-on-board(tm) cackhandness, rushed builds and bad karma from silently mocking my friends’ singlespeed a few minutes earlier. “Hah when it gets hilly, I shall unleash my vast array of easy pedalling ratios” I carelessly gloated.

But this loss of cogs hardly ruined the ride – the Cove is fantastic everywhere; light and quick uphill, terrifyingly competent in the twisties and nonchalantly banzai when heading downhill. My efforts to fall off were easily dealt with until a log based endo saw the spinning chainrings of doom harvest a few inches of skin.

A spot of beer focussed research selected the easy option of throwing some money at the problem. That’s fixing the thuggery of the chainset rather than the bleeding of the leg. Although you could hear the “Cry of the Lesser Haired Wuss” for many miles when bloodied stump hit hot bathwater.

It’s a keeper this one* and I really think the selection of rather lovely bicycles may be complete for some time to come**. This may be for the rather practical reason that our offer on “Cabbage-Land” has been accepted. I’ve no idea what this means, except that I am now funding the Devil’s lawyer and financier to complete the transaction.

This calls for a beer to reflect on what an interesting year it has been already, and to wonder of the experience that decamping to a county where only out of towners have 10 digit hands.

Well not really, I just fancy a beer ๐Ÿ˜‰

* I can hear you laughing. And I’m ignoring you. But taking names come the revolution.

** And don’t chortle. It’s unbecoming.

11 thoughts on “Chicks digs scars.

  1. Jay

    Well, my names already on the list so might as well continue laughing!

    *wipes tears from eyes, tries to breathe*


  2. Doug

    Don’t worry Al, the “pissing with rain” was isolated to say the least and lasted about an hour and a half…. Not enough to give the farmers any cause for celebration, that’s for sure. And that makes precisely about 5 hours rain total since Xmas day….. Still in the high 20’s here every day :o) Have a great flight over, see you in a few weeks’.

  3. dave

    i, cough, seem, cough, not, cough, to, cough, be, cough, able, cough, to, cough, breath, cough…

    and don’t ask me to repeat that..

    just wait till there’s a pink frame on offer down the local,, or when a beer induced fork sneaks it’s way back from the pub.. then we’ll see your true colours appear again.

  4. Ian

    I’m more concerned with the pink frame offer to be honest.. I’m assuming we’re talking bike frame?

    To be honest, I’ve already heard there is already a healthy futures market being set up for unused bike parts being developed in cabbage land! ; )

  5. Wife

    I give you about 3 months before something small and shiny turns your head and just “forces” you to buy it. And 6, no make it 9 before the whole lot are replaced AGAIN.

    Willpower is what you need – you’ll find that under “W” in the dictionary.


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