If MySpace were a country..

… it’d house 150 million citizens apparently. Dreadful place to live tho – nobody over the age of about 11, a language with all the vocabulary required to span ‘ugh’ to ‘fuck’ and a national costume of grunge, dirt and hair. Difficult to see how it’d get past the first generation since economic success would be based on everyone getting up around 2pm and playing in an unsigned band. Copulation could also be a bit hit and miss, what with everyone looking the same and communicating in base grunt.

If Facebook were a country, 30 Million middle class people would amusingly poke each other every five minutes whilst exclaiming “I am currently wasting my time pretending to be hip“. The country would be a hotbed of dinner parties, photo exchanges and membership of ever more niche clubs such as “one handed, two fingered, three in a bed with a baboon“. Nobody would have to work because they’ve already earned their money and the only market would see useless trinkets traded on eBay.

If Pickled-Hedgehog was a country, 550 lunatics would be running the asylum. Most would cycle, all would drink and victims from FaceBook and MySpace would be imported for merry challenges involving the scorpion pit. We would lie, cheat, exaggerate, self-promote, idolise in vainglory and repent at leisure. Rain would be banned as would tarmac, street performers and any institution professing an interest in democracy. I would, of course, be in charge but there would be sufficient Dukedoms and Titles so that you wouldn’t mind.

We’ve already done policy. I reckon we’ve all earned a decent drink and a nice round of cheese.

5 thoughts on “If MySpace were a country..

  1. dave

    had some fantastic home brew over the weekend,, so good i (with some mates) drank the lot save for 2 litres i brought home with me.

    shame it’ll take 4 weeks for the next batch to be ready otherwise i’d provide for a cheese party. (nice smelly camembert please!)

  2. Ian

    Hhmm, I’m getting worried, my tolerance to alcohol could be my downfall, although I’m soldiering through in the belief that Guiness is good for you..

    Can I be put in charge of the Scorpion Pits? my initial thoughts being that once we’ve got one or two well established and people see how effective they are we market them as a Franchise..

  3. Alex

    Ian.. now that’s the kind of out of the scorpion pit thinking that shall be rewarded. Consider yourself head of pits with additional responsibility for hiving off a nice percentage on the side.

    I feel we’re already creating a “Cheese Culture” which works however you say it.

    Exciting times for the followers of the hedgehog 🙂

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