Work done. Mostly. For a given value of mostly. And – come to think of it – work.

Riding done. Well a single jaunt back over the same trails that landed me in the dirt and then in the hospital. Managed to screw up enough courage to dispatch rocky obstacle of elbow bleed without pitching head first into a tree. Fantastic conditions, some diffidence. Hardly ridden at all in April, probably a bit too early to pretend I am tapering for Clic-24.

Fixing things. Done. Well some. ST4 needs some loving after my post-crash cursory inspection failed to pick up a gear cable attempting to wrest itself from the tumbling bike. Bodge got me past one ride, it wont’ last another. New Helmet with New Sizing apparently. My last four helmets in ten years have been from Giro. All have fitted me melon-like dome in size large. The latest incarnation is light, clever, airy and entirely suited to extremely large land mammals. Think elephant or rhino. If we are prepared to consider aquatic, does anyone know if whales browse eBay?

Packing. Not done. Not at all. Luckily Carol seems to have corralled food, tent, children and a vast quota of stuff. I thought we were going for three days. Maybe it was months? I dunno, what I do know is it is colder where we’re going to be sleeping in a thin draughty tent than it is here in a warm house. Apparently that’s proper camping. You come back burnt or frostbitten, there is no middle ground.

Windows. Done-ish. We have some new ones. Very nice they are too. Three tiny issues: 1) Only 2/3rds are fitted due to the house being built by a blind drunkard with only a hazy knowledge of straight lines and a buying strategy based on the cheapest tat available from anywhere. Poor bloody fitters have earned their tea times ten. The only straight thing in the whole process is their spirit level. Every other wall/floor/apparently flat surface is on the piss. 2) The rest of the windows now look really, really shit.* 3) We’ve run out of cash before we’ve run out of windows to replace.

Trailer. Done. Proper man now. Aged 43, I finally own a 6×4 metal trailer that will be absolutely vital for stuff. Stuff I’ve yet to fully explain to Carol, but let me tell you when that stuff comes along, I shall be in the vanguard of dealing with it, trailer firmly to the fore. Okay it’s missing a wheel (not a vital one, well probably not) and it’s certainly somewhere south of extremely pre-loved but it was cheaper and it’s metal. And manly. Oh yes, do not let there be even the slightest discussion on that.

Beer. Not done. Of the many and varied things on my to-do list that doesn’t even rate an entry. I shall enjoy that list an an entrée with Mr. Speckled Hen.

Back in three days. Or possibly three months.


* there’s a reason. They are. see point 1) re: purchasing strategy.

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