Proper nutters

Mark lamented on a previous post that he “wasn’t even a proper nutter”. Now that’s between him and his analyst 😉 but if one took a dry dictionary definition of the term nutter and transposed it across to a 3-D environment, it would look something like this.


(with an appreciate nod to my friend Mike who was all things stitchy in Photoshop)

Momentary insanity saw me add the hefty weight of the camera to my over-hefted form, which was already struggling to push the SX Trail about at Chicksands. Riding in the style of “scared shitless sack of shit having a shit day being shit” was not totally fulfilling, so instead I whipped out the vanity cam and started randomly clicking.

Even flushed with the success of my previous efforts, it’s obvious that there is more to this proper photography than just adopting a squinting position close to the action, then stabbing the shutter release when something passes through the viewfinder. Entire continents of knowledge pertaining to pre-focussing, exposure compensation, positioning and panning require proper exploring.

And so far, I even barely understand the language.So nuttercam(tm) missed some of their almost balletic ability to ride in a third dimension that would have most of us wibbling for our mums and booking extended stays in dirty hospitals. What struck me most about these guys (not a girl amongst them which must make for excessive masturbation amongst dirt jumpers) was their age (from young back to barely developed embryos), Clothes (street threads hiding occasional body armour), attitude (laid back to the point of catatonic) and unstinting enthusiasm (try, crash, dust off, grin, try again).

Check out the guy below. He must have tried this trick (whatever it was, tailwhip to fakie, dirt-face finish) twenty times and never came close to landing it. Well not with the the bike anyway. Didn’t seem to bother him tho.

Back over the other side, older blokes who should know better were having it stupid off the recently rebuilt “little” ladder – Yeah it’s “little” like the Sahara is “a bit dry”. Two Irish guys with huge springs, counterbalanced by smaller brains, were taking a hundred yard run up to ensure they disdainfully avoided the downslope and, instead landed on the flat bottom of the hill.

Flickr: Quite mad.Flickr: Faming bonkers.

Go big or go home was their of repeated mantra. And so I did; go home that is. I’m putting up a reward for my bravery last seen around November 2006. It’s pretty small and hard to spot but if you’ve seen it, I’d still like it back 🙁

Click here for a few more examples of the nutters day out.

2 thoughts on “Proper nutters

  1. Mark

    Mentioned in dispatches – Mother would be proud (unless she actually read the Hedgehog, when she would just be confused).

    That guy partially attached to his bike is a prime candidate for several Despair Inc. Demotivators, like…

    Ineptitude: If you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

    It’s more a way of life, really.

  2. Alex

    I believe the correct HR turn of phrase is “lifestyle statement” into which politically correct bucket I lob beer and arguing specifically to annoy people.

    I found my mum actually read this for a bit but gave up because “she didn’t like the swearing”. Which, for me, is the best bit…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.