Bloody hell, I’m clearly some kind of retard with the patience of a two year old. My wife has wrapped presents for the entire family and, looking at a months wages under the tree, for the entire population of North Bucks.
She’s brilliant at it – the presents are wrapped crease free as if satin ironed, regardless of their difficult shape. My attempts favour a look last seen when an epileptic was presented with scissors, paper, sellotape and a strobe light.
There’s obviously a system. And just as obviously not one I’m ever going to be familiar with. I’m sat here with paper stuck painfully to my eyebrows. It looks like ground zero in Woolworths with wrapping paper, presents and assorted bows, cards and other stuff flung around the barn.
The issue has been exacerbated by my frantic last minute present frenzy once the Internet shops appeared to have shipped to everyone but me. This involved a horrid crush and scrum which went from bad to sodding awful once the power took the day off and it was all pre chip’n’pin card swiping. No one carried any cash and many of the assistants had never seen the mechanical carbon paper based system. It made me feel old. And impatient.
And then after spending the GDP of Guatemala during a guilt ridden sashay through Aylesbury, the postman finally chose that precise moment to deliver the rest of the presents.
So my question is this? Is it ok to just hand over the presents, beautifully presented, in a Tesco bag?